Vintage Heavy Sweat Shorts

SWEATSHORTS! THOSE MAJESTIC KNEE-REVEALERS OF DESTINY!
AND THESE ONES?
THEY’RE THE VINTAGE HEAVY SWEATSHORTS!!!

WOOOAAAAHHH!!
FOR MOMENTS OF PURE CASUAL GLORY!
These aren’t just shorts — they’re TWO COTTONY CLOUD SLEEVES for your legs to RELAX, REFLECT, and PERHAPS SING A SONG ABOUT DESMOND TUTU.

REGULAR FIT?!
YES! Just the right amount of room to DO THE RUNNING MAN in the kitchen while holding a sieve.
Move free. Look sharp. Be ready for a SURPRISE GAZEBO BUILD at any moment.

THIGH-LENGTH?!
BANG ON! They cover what needs covering, but let your knees feel the SWEET KISS OF THE SUN GOD!
Ideal for warm days, cool breezes, and sneaky lunges outside Greggs.

MID-RISE WAIST?!
OHHHHH YES!
They sit just right — not up in your bellybutton business, not hanging around your ankles like confused curtains.
The waist says:
“Hello, I’m here for comfort… and possibly a small belly rub.”

NO NEED FOR SPECIAL CARE!
Chuck ‘em in the wash! Hang ‘em on a yak! Fold ‘em with your mind!
They’re BUILT TO LAST — unlike that paddling pool from last summer.

These shorts don’t just say "I’m relaxed."
They say:
“I am the chilled sorcerer of summer. I have crisps. And I fear no wasp.”